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Megan took an oyster and let it slide down her throat, “I am here on personal business.”“Care to elaborate on that personal business?” I retorted as I let an oyster slide down my throat.“Do you really want to know or are you just making conversation?”“Actually my sweet-tart. I do want to know. I do care about what my wife is doing here.”Megan took a shrimp and dipped it in cocktail sauce. Leaning over she fed me the shrimp, giving me even more of a glance down her dress.“Your wife wants to get pregnant. Her current lover is sterile and I am here to go get a procedure done at a clinic.”“So that is why Bob was there last night. He was to be your clinic,” I said as I fed Megan another oyster.“Yes, and he was free compared to the real clinic,” Megan said as she fed me an oyster.“But, he didn’t do it for you?” I said as I took a sip of my whiskey.“Not at all, he couldn’t hold a candle to you. Your wit and charm had me the moment I set eyes on you. I want you to be the father of my. .. ✧ ✧ ✧That moment when you walk into a spider web and you suddenly turn into a karate master!✧ ✧ ✧I don’t remember much from last night but the fact I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome.✧ ✧ ✧ I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.✧ ✧ ✧A Large group of people is called a “No Thanks.”✧ ✧ ✧I had my patience tested. I’m negative.✧ ✧ ✧To me ‘drink responsibly’ means don’t spill it. ✧ ✧ ✧Cop, “Please step out of the car.”Me, “I’m too drunk, you get in.” ✧ ✧ ✧When I say “the other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.✧ ✧ ✧I don’t mean to interrupt people; I just randomly remember things and get really excited.✧ ✧ ✧When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.✧ ✧ ✧I finally got 8 hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.✧ ✧ ✧Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit.
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